Judy

This is my friend Judy, who rides with me on the river.

"Friend" hardly seems to cover it, really.

For the last 20 or more years we have explored the river, livened up the local bars, and shared our personal triumphs and tragedies. We go to Orchid shows and the Zoo, and take nature walks on the beach or in the wildlife sanctuaries. Our children are close in age so we have shared our parenting joys and frustrations. I was Maid of Honor at her wedding, and she supported and encouraged me when I started my own business.

We have never had a serious argument or fight. We have called each other "B--ch" a few times, but usually were obliged to admit there might be some justification in the name. The biggest problem in our friendship has been her husband - he and I argue a lot. (It's his fault, HE started it, not me!)

Once Judy did really lay into me...

Judy does not like spiders. Believe me when I say that this is a gross understatement. Since I am driving the boat that means that Judy is in the front, so when we head into the bushes at the side of the river she gets to meet anything living there first. One day I was trying to get a particular photo and was concentrating on focusing the camera and maneuvering the boat into the best position. I didn't realize I was pushing her right into a bush totally covered in spider webs and spiders until she vocalized her displeasure.

I mean to say, she chewed me up one side and down the other. She yelled at me for two solid minutes without ever once taking a breath, using an obscenity or repeating a single word. I have never in my life been so thoroughly or eloquently raked over the coals (and I was in the Navy!). When she finally ran down there was a moment of stunned silence, then I started laughing so hard I nearly fell out of the boat. I was in awe of her elocution ...I wish I could have recorded it!

For the rest of the afternoon we took turns apologizing to each other, me for running her into the spiders, and her for yelling at me.